I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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