My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
