I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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