He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
