omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize