i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
