Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
