I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
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Girls should come with a carfax report
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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