He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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