So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
