I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
