Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
