Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
