once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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