shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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