she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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