But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
