why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
