its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
