The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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