i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
