Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
