hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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