He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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