we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
