I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
