tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
