Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
