I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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