More tranny stories later!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
