dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
