When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
