May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
