i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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