Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
