just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Randomize
