I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
