at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize