she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Someone came in the potted fern
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Randomize
