she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux