people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?