when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.