One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
