What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we're so committed to being not committed
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