I want to have your abortion
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
