I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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