Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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