i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
