Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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