Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
