I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
