Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
