I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
