That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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