I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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