And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
